Some people seem to be born with good manners. Most of us, however, need diligent practice in acquiring them. Be that as it may, let us look at some of the indications of good manners and then polish our own un- til they shine. You will find that the effort pays big dividends.

The best place to begin is at home. Let good manners become a part of your personality and not just a cloak to be put on when company comes or you go visiting. After all, the home folks deserve to see the good side of you, for you live more with them now than with others. They will enjoy your practicing good manners on them.

Calling on a Girl

Suppose we think first of how a fellow and girl are to conduct themselves when he comes to take her on a date. A good plan is for the boy to arrive at her home just about on time-not too soon, but certainly not too late. If the fellow arrives earlier than the hour agreed on, he may upset the home schedule, and that would not be getting things off to a good start. The young lady, of course, will be ready on time and should not keep him waiting.

When the fellow is asked to come in, he will remain in the room into which he is invited and not wander around through the house.

A fellow who has been invited into a girl's home after a date must realize that when his visit is over, he should go. There is no need of making a last-minute stand in the door, then on the porch, and finally on the sidewalk. Such a long-drawn-out exit will make the other person or persons think that he lacks poise. He need not let them in on that secret.

Car Etiquette

It may help to consider car etiquette on a date. When calling on his girl friend, the fellow need not advertise to the whole neighborhood that he is taking her out. "Yoo- hooing" from the sidewalk, shrill whistling, or blaring out with the horn may be effective, but they are not good manners. Go to the door and knock, or ring the bell. The girl should be ready to greet the fellow when he arrives.

The same consideration ought to be shown when returning from a date. After the girl has entered her home and the fellow has returned to his car, he need not pretend that he is taking off under jet power. His making the gravel fly or the tires squeal will not endear him to the neighborhood.

The fellow opens and closes the car door for the girl. When a public conveyance, such as a bus, train, or taxi, is used, the girl enters first, and the fellow follows her. When leaving, the fellow gets off first and assists her.

In Public

Here is an opportunity to show dignity and reserve. In public Christian fellows and girls can leave either a good testimony or a bad one. Avoid the boisterousness that some indulge in which calls attention to them in the wrong way. Loud, forced laughing is annoying to others and does not indicate good breeding. It shows lack of poise and self-restraint.

This boisterousness should be curbed not only on the streets but also in drugstores and especially in restaurants. A noisy bunch of teenagers are not appreciated by the general public. After all, good manners consist basically in one's having respect for the per son and feelings of another. Those who claim to know the Lord Jesus Christ must be careful to be respectful

Loud chewing or snapping of gum is also annoying to others. If you insist on chewing gum, do it quietly -- better yet, do it in private.

When walking along the street with a girl, the fellow takes the curb side. This is also the case when he is walking with two girls. If a girl needs assistance in crossing a street, he offers her his arm. Taking her by the elbow in a bear-clutch and pushing her around is the mark of an uninstructed boy.

Street corners are not considered good places for dates. Avoid street introductions, if possible, and street meetings for couples.

In Church

If people remember that in a church service God's people are meeting with one another to worship Him, anything that tends to irreverence will be laid aside.

Giggling and passing of notes is not consistent with such an atmosphere. When young people indulge in this, it indicates the same lack of refinement which we discussed in regard to boisterous laughing and the "cutting up" which is often seen in restaurants. Self-control is the fruit of the Holy Spirit (Gal. 5:22,23). Some may not be born with very much natural self-control; but when they are born again, they have supernatural self-control, although it needs to be cultivated.

When a fellow and girl are sitting together in church, they will show consideration for each other and keep the respect of the congregation by remembering that the church pew is not a love seat. Nothing looks worse in church than couples sitting with their arms around each other. No one is deceived into thinking that they are getting anything out of the service for their souls' good. Moreover, what they are doing cheapens them in the eyes of others. If such conduct is permitted to continue, the testimony of the whole church is lowered.

Keep your standards high when you are away from your home church. Do not lower the bars just because you may be attending services in a Bible camp or elsewhere.

Table Manners

Along this line you have had considerable experience. You have been at this business since the first time you were placed in your high chair, and you spilled the cereal on the floor. Your eating habits have improved a great deal since then, but a few hints may help you at some critical moment.

Look and feel comfortable at the table. If you are supplied with a napkin lay it neatly across your lap. Avoid the annoying habit which some have of making noises with the mouth while eating or drinking.

When you are entertained at dinner and are confronted with several pieces of silverware, begin with the knife or fork which is farthest away from your plate and work your way in, according to the courses which are served. The prongs of the fork should always be down when cutting, and they should be up when passing the food to the mouth.

It is proper to wait for your host or hostess to begin eating before you start. If you are at a banquet, it is permissible to begin after several people near you are served.

Toothpicks are not usually passed at the table, but if they are, use them in privacy.

The elbows are always a problem. Hold them as close to the body as possible while lifting food to the mouth. Keep your elbows off the table during and after the meal. The head should not be lowered too far while food is being put in the mouth, although one should lean forward slightly to keep from dropping food particles on the lap or on the floor. As we have already intimated, one should have good posture during and after the meal.

Introductions

Let us look at a few of the essentials concerning introductions. When a fellow calls at his girl friend's house for the first time, he should be introduced first to her mother. The girl will say, "Mother, this is Bob Smith." Then she will introduce him to her father and to any other members of the family who may be present. The fellow introduces his girl friend to his parents and family in a similar way.

When introducing people, be sure that you state their names clearly. Make the introductions quickly, politely, and with ease. Fellows should always be brought to girls for introductions, not girls to fellows.

If you are introducing a woman and a man, you always mention the woman's name first, for you are introducing the man to the woman. When you introduce men and women, you place a Mr., Miss, or Mrs. before their names, but when you are introducing someone near your own age, you may leave off the title and introduce him by his full name. Be sure, how- ever, that you do not introduce anyone by his first name only.

In introducing correctly you may follow any of these forms:

"Mrs. Jones, may I introduce Mr. Smith?"
"Mrs. Smith, do you know Mr. Lamb?"
"Mr. Black, this is Mr. White."
"Mrs. White, you know Mrs. Black, don't you?"
"Jane, this is Sally Brown-Jane Smith. "

When a girl presents a fellow to a mixed group, she will say, if she knows him well, "Bob, this is ______, Bob Smith." Other- wise she should make the introduction in this way: "Mr. Smith, may I introduce you to ________?" She names first the girls in the group and then the fellows. A fellow introduces a girl in a similar manner.

The preferred response for all introductions is "How do you do?" In the case of a group this response need not be made to every person. A nod or a smile suffices for the majority.

When being introduced, a young man should always stand. He should remain standing until all the women and older men have found seats or until all who wish to sit down have been offered a chair.

We have been able to touch only the high spots of this subject in our discussion. If you want to learn more about the fine art of good manners, consult your local librarian for good literature on etiquette, or secure "Teenage Etiquette," which is listed at the back of this book.