Rob's changing voice squeaked through the house, "Mom! Say, Mom, where's the hair oil?" Rob had spent the last hour shining his shoes, dressing, and getting his tie in just the right knot. He wanted to do a special job on his hair tonight, for this was the top moment of his life.

When his mother's voice floated up the stairs, "On your dresser, where it always is," Rob had already found the hair oil and was putting it on thick. He thought, "I sure want to make the right impression." He gazed in the mirror as with heavy strokes he brushed the tangle of none-too-well-trained red hair, which insisted on being curly.

The day before, Rob had informed his mother that on this particular evening he was having his first "heavy date," as he expressed it. Jane was five foot two, he had told her, to his almost five-ten; and as he described her, she was the cutest girl anybody had ever laid eyes on. "A blond with wavy hair falling to her shoulders, and the keenest eyes...." They had met at the Sunday-school-class fellowship meeting and had "fallen for each other like a ton of bricks."

As Rob left for Jane's house, a couple of blocks away, his mother could hear him whistling as he usually did when all was well and the birds of bliss sang a lilting song in his mind. She said, half aloud, more to herself than to the kitchen stove "He ought to be happy, palling around with a nice Christian girl like her."

Becoming Girl-Conscious

Oh, yes, you have been looking at girls for the past sixteen years, but suddenly you begin to see them. Until now they have merely been something to interfere with your happiness -- to "get in your hair," as you expressed it. But a short time ago you became girl-conscious, and you were attracted to a particular one.

Always when you went out with a crowd of "gals and guys," you herded with the group and did not want to huddle off in a corner with someone. But now you are with the crowd, just the same, except that you are all eyes for the girl who, from this time on (until you want to change), is the only one for you.

"What kinks my mind in such a crazy way?" you inquire of your deeper self. The answer is that this is nature's way of awakening you to the opposite sex. She is ready for you to begin Chinking about courtship, which rightly ends in marriage.

"Me marry?" you ask, when suddenly the thought of going with a girl enters your mind. At first you are shocked with the thought, but later you think, "Why not? Of course, not now, but sometime...."

Until yesterday you had not thought that way. Then God turned a spring in your physical mechanism which seemed to loosen a gong that clanged, "Okay, Boy, it's girl-palling time." You did not try to awaken that voice; but, once going, it is difficult to drown it out or have it "pipe down."

This girl-consciousness comes with the dawn of your sex life. Girl-friendship and sex are closely related, but you must keep your friendship on a high plane and not let the lower emotions control you.

You and Your Girl Friend

She is just your pal, but you call her your "girl friend." What should be your attitude toward her? You want your relationship to be wholesome, once you begin selecting a special girl for a pal. You would like to be with her as much as allowable; but, of course, you do not want to overdo it in a sickening way, as do some of the fellows whom you know. How should you go about making the selection of this special girl pal?

Find a wholesome, friendly, congenial girl from your own group. By all means select a Christian girl for your pal. A girl who has no time for Christ or the church is not your type of girl. Her standards of conduct will be different from yours. She will want to do things which your conscience condemns. Her interests will conflict with yours; and if you follow her leading, she will separate you from your Christian friends and your church activities. Do not date such a girl.

Choose a girl who is healthy and "outdoorsy" -- not a tomboy, but one who can make it interesting for you on the tennis court, on a hike, or on a friendly bike ride, or one who is at least interested in learning to do such things. You are not courting a girl at your age; you are merely palling with her. To make this palship congenial, she must be able to enter into the things you like to do. In other words, your palling interests must be related.

If you select a girl pal with whom you have no common interests or points of contact, you will discover your friendship to be boresome. You might be tempted to substitute what the gang calls "soft-shoulder" parking (your head parked on her shoulder) on a dark night if there are no active interests to engage your attention. The girl with whom you are forced to remain inactive will sooner or later tempt you to petting, pawing, or whatever you may call it-an experience which certainly should have no place in the life of a Christian boy.

Dating a Girl

Suppose, when you are old enough to be come girl-conscious, you have selected a girl pal. How should you date her?

There are many legitimate activities which the two of you can engage in and others which are beyond your depths. First, if the girl will not go to church with you, as your girl pal, sit with you during the service, and behave herself, you should find no time to date her for any other activity, program, or occasion. She should not be out with you.

Yes, it is all right for you to sit together in church and not in the least necessary for you to go to her home and bring her to church if she will be there anyway. Meet her at church. If her parents attend, treat them courteously and in a friendly way.

Visit at the girl's home. If she will not invite you to her home, you should find no time to be with her elsewhere. You can drop in on her, if you want to, without being formal about it, asking to come, or even phoning, though it is better to be sure that she will be at home and not otherwise engaged. If she is occupied with some task, fit into whatever she is doing, if possible; otherwise leave her alone. She is your pal, just as her brother is your pal; and you can be as informal in dropping in to see her as you are with him, though with a little more delicacy.

It is proper for the two of you, if your parents will permit it, to go to ball games, programs, concerts, parties, picnics, Youth for Christ meetings, special activities, etc., during your spare time and in the evening. Learn to be frank and honest with your parents as well as hers in making these arrangements. You should set a time limit as to when you will return to her home. Boys of your age should not be out late, and certainly you would not respect a fellow who took your sister out for a date and did not come home until midnight or later. Cooperate diligently with your parents in this matter of the time of returning, and do not stay out later than the hour they sanction.

If you meet your girl pal at some meeting or party to which you did not take her, it is all right for the two of you to chum together, a twosome off by yourself, though not in a conspicuous manner.

Do not take these dating times too seriously, and do not permit her to do so. Do not allow any such silly ideas to pop into your head as that when you are eighteen... the two of you dreaming together... you will quit school, get a job, and maybe, well, you know what I mean-marry and rent a one-room apartment! You are not courting; you are just palling with her.

Is Kissing Permissible?

I know all the arguments you may want to throw at me about kissing, even at this bold and advanced age of sixteen. Kissing should have a serious meaning to you. You should not kiss your girl pal, no matter what the gang may say about it. Maybe you have already indulged. If so, it is not too late to quit.

Kisses should be reserved until a special girl arrives, and she should be the girl to whom you are engaged. In reality it will be quite a few years before it will be necessary for you to kiss your girl friend. I know that the gang on the street corner talk about kissing their latest flames, but they never have any respect for the girl who is free with her kisses.

You may be tempted to ask, "Why bring this up?" Simply because in this fast-moving age kissing, petting, and philandering in general are so common that even boys your age cut their courtship eyeteeth by kissing their girl pals. The Christian boy should have other pastimes while with his girl pal than this, which does not stop with itself but is liable to lead to other things.

Double-Dating

Should you double date with other boys and girls? This is a question which on the surface looks useless, but you will often discover that double dating may throw you into the wrong company. On the other hand, it may bring together a congenial foursome for many pleasurable activities.

The danger in a Christian fellow's double- dating is that unless you are certain of the morals of the other couple, they may indulge in petting acts, pawing, and kissing, which will tempt you and your girl pal to follow suit. This you should not do. Be sure that you know the standards of the other couple. Play safe and double date only with a Christian couple who you know will follow a wholesome line of conduct.

Petting is a common practice among young people who are not Christians and often among those whose names are on church rolls but who are not genuine, Christ-changed believers. You cannot afford to indulge in the common, low practice of petting your girl pal, even though she might permit it. No self-respecting girl will let boys become familiar with her; and if she does, this act alone disqualifies her from being your special chum.

Petting, kissing, and other familiarizing acts, you will discover, stimulate the sex nature in you. The more you pet, the longer you paw, the stronger becomes the sex element in your palship. As a Christian, you cannot afford to unleash these feelings in your nature, nor dare you endanger your girl friend by arousing her sexual instincts so that her hand slips off the throttle of self- control.

Petting and pawing build the conditions under which a fellow loses his virtue and the girl is ruined. Certainly no Christian boy would ever bring upon a clean girl whom he chooses as his girl friend this horrible future. If the girl has already taken this step (many of whom have at your age), she is an unfit companion. Do not date her the second time, for you cannot tell what dangers may lurk in such a friendship.

The Smoking Girl

There are many boys and girls who have their first smoke at your age. They are with a crowd where there are some who already smoke, many of whom picked up the habit when they were as young as twelve years of age. Somebody passes around a pack, the girls as well as the boys taking cigarettes. Your girl pal takes one and asks you to light it. At that moment, as a Christian, you should put an end to this friendship.

Cigarettes will lay the foundation for future dangers, a loss of physical endurance, and a dullness of keen, mental brilliance, which you cannot afford to bring upon yourself. For the girl the dangers are enhanced because of her superfine emotional life. You would not marry a cigarette-smoking girl; therefore, you should not pal with one, or she will start you on this habit.

If you are in the joyous throes of this glad moment when you are just beginning to see a girl for the first time, find a good, sweet (not sticky-sweet) girl to pal around with. Make her your favorite friend, your confidante, tell her your secrets, take her into your confidence, play games with her, study with her, and go to church together. Be nice, congenial, and kind to her, but do not run your friendship into the ground.

If you want to have two special girl pals at the same time, go ahead and have them. You do not have to tie yourself down to one girl. In fact, it is better that you do not, because there may be a number of congenial girls who are special with you. Treat them all alike, and do not begin to become familiar with any of them.

You are still young, though you are about to come up to the top of the hill, where you can look over into that bright and promising land of young manhood; and you do not want to get any foolish ideas in that head of yours.

Select a girl whom you will not be ashamed to bring into your own home, one whom you can invite to eat with the family, one whom you will take to your Sunday school; but keep your friendship on the pal side of the ledger.

(Revised and reprinted from "Christian Boy's Problems," by Bertrand Williams. Published by Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Mich.)